I hate my self for loving him like this!

February 9, 2009 at 12:39 pm (I-ME-MYSELF) ()

Never in my mind that I dreamed of falling inlove with my third degree cousin. It’s just that, the closeness that we had before started to grow and developed into an ideal but forbidden love. My cousin and I never grew up together. In fact, we only knew each other during our cousin’s debut. He does not knows me and i doesn’t know him too.

“You must know each other, so that one day if you’re going to see each other, your not just going to ignore one another. He is your cousin. She is your cousin.You two are cousins.” my mom said.

We got each others number and started to go out. We started to build and enjoy each other’s company. I started to fall inlove with him. Same as him. He always says “you are not my cousin. I love you. We can do it. Whatever it takes.” I hold on to those words. I believed him. I loved him.
But then,he failed. He broke his promise. I don’t know what happened. It happened too fast.

Up to now, I’m still like this. Waiting for him. Holding on to his promise. But I know, even if I’ll wait for him for thousands of years, nothings gonna happen. He will not come back. He will not love me. He’s lost. Forever.

I hope I could turn back the time. The time we are together. The memories we had together. I can’t afford to lose him. Never.

He’s not going to read this. I know.

But I’m hoping that one day, you will still come back and fulfill your promises. I will forever be loving you. No matter what it makes. I ‘ll be waiting.


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